Silk Road forums
Discussion => Newbie discussion => Topic started by: lumenz on July 27, 2013, 09:14 pm
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Since SR has a plethora of different drugs out there, what would you suggest would be most effective and painless for OD?
I have my reasons, I wish to be at peace.
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I've always thought the best way to go would be to light a couple of small charcoal grills in a sealed room. Take some tylenol PM and go to sleep. I promise you won't know what happened. Some rockstar did this and I'm pretty sure he had access to the best drugs.
Good luck... but really- don't do it. Just move away from your troubles.
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I don't get why people always commit suicide in a way that doesn't benefit anyone else.
Do you know how many people are on the waiting list for kidneys and hearts and shit?
Just tape your drivers' license to your forehead with a magic marker arrow pointing to the "donor" box, walk into a hospital emergency room and shoot yourself in the head.
Congratulations, you just saved probably ten people's lives.
Either that or you could just steal a police car and go on a rampage, but for God's sake, at least go out with a bang...
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Don't do it, you'll be sorry! The place you end up is much worse and I'm not talking about "hell". Just get thru the problems your having, so you don't have to repeat the lesson. Good luck, keep your chin up!
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Simply walk into a gun store and attempt to rob the place with a knife.
That's how I would do it.
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O you want to end your life?
Report to the nearest government law enforcement building and tell them your are Dread Pirate Roberts the psuedo revolutionary of the infamous Silk Road Black Drug Market.
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Hey man, if you need someone to talk to you should definitely PM me, we can chat about this. Or if you're ever on reddit check out /r/suicidewatch, those guys are awesome.
If you're going to order drugs off of SR, you should order enjoyable drugs. Have you done LSD? If not, definitely order some and try it, that shit will change your worldview. And if you have done LSD before, order it anyways, maybe it'll convince you to change your mind. Since if you've resolved to killing yourself anyways, you might as well have some fun first, right?
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Hey man, if you need someone to talk to you should definitely PM me, we can chat about this. Or if you're ever on reddit check out /r/suicidewatch, those guys are awesome.
If you're going to order drugs off of SR, you should order enjoyable drugs. Have you done LSD? If not, definitely order some and try it, that shit will change your worldview. And if you have done LSD before, order it anyways, maybe it'll convince you to change your mind. Since if you've resolved to killing yourself anyways, you might as well have some fun first, right?
Seriously cheeto69, you think a mentally unstable member asking for tips on suicide drugs needs to take a psychedelic that is vastly known as common sense is very sensitive to the users mental and physical states?
If he was just depressed maybe but not someone suicide, their lies mental illness and hopelessness...these are not LSD approved states of mind.
Can I get competent LSD users to raise their hand that LSD is a good idea for a suicidal person?
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6 months ago I wanted to die. I was depressed and couldn't get out of bed to go to work on time, fucking up hard at work, high on more drugs continuously than any human should ever be. I wanted to die as well.
I have a wife and three little girls who love me and are my whole life, so for me suicide was not an option. In order to save my marriage and continue to live under the same roof as my family, I voluntarily but begrudgingly went to a doctor ( I really didn't have one before) and as i expected was promptly proscribed Prozac. After several more visits with this doc, 5 to be exact) I complained that I never am able to get enough sleep at night (4 hrs average) to get up easily on time and not want to sleep for 30 more minutes, 15 more minutes, oh shit I fell back asleep I need to be there now!
She reluctantly gave me one benzo, even though I was angling for alprazolam (the last doctor I saw had me on it for sleep every night and I came off it fine)
So I can order the benzo she prescribed me to cover the possible presence in my urine of the substance and that part of my life is awesome. I have horrible insomnia that I have tried everything to fix, and the only good sleep I ever get is from benzodiazepines. And I don't need to take them every night, some times every other night and I get good sound sleep on the second night when I took nothing.
My main point is that I definitely felt and improvement from the Prozac, but needed a little more boost so she upped my Prozac and I felt another wave of mood improvement and mood stability. This was before I conviced her to give me the benzo for sleep, and when i did get the benzo, she also put me on Seroquel, which actually has already given me added benefits for my depression, like wanting to get up in the morning and feeling like you have had enough rest. I have struggled with that my entire adult life.
I am ready now to start consulting with as psychologist or psychiatrist to further distance myself from depression and learn how to not be depressed once I am ready to ween off the Prozac and Seroquel.
My larger point is, don't kill yourself. It is the most selfish act you can do. You can get better and be at peace while you are still alive. I walked through a forest the other day and felt a peace I had not felt in years. See your doctor as much as possible, even if you have to pay cash. They want to help and they understand not everyone has insurance. Above all, be 100% honest with them always. they want to make you well as a whole, not just treat symptoms.
Today I have a wife and kids who love me more and have stronger relationships with me that I imagined possible. Life is not worth ending, unless you have a painful terminal disease and I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. But there are other better options than ending your life. You can find peace you just have to continue to seek it, and seek out the wisdom and experience from the people in your life to help give you perspective and never stop trying to be better. Your life can go from misery to ecxstacy in mere weeks.
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6 months ago I wanted to die. I was depressed and couldn't get out of bed to go to work on time, fucking up hard at work, high on more drugs continuously than any human should ever be. I wanted to die as well.
I have a wife and three little girls who love me and are my whole life, so for me suicide was not an option. In order to save my marriage and continue to live under the same roof as my family, I voluntarily but begrudgingly went to a doctor ( I really didn't have one before) and as i expected was promptly proscribed Prozac. After several more visits with this doc, 5 to be exact) I complained that I never am able to get enough sleep at night (4 hrs average) to get up easily on time and not want to sleep for 30 more minutes, 15 more minutes, oh shit I fell back asleep I need to be there now!
She reluctantly gave me one benzo, even though I was angling for alprazolam (the last doctor I saw had me on it for sleep every night and I came off it fine)
So I can order the benzo she prescribed me to cover the possible presence in my urine of the substance and that part of my life is awesome. I have horrible insomnia that I have tried everything to fix, and the only good sleep I ever get is from benzodiazepines. And I don't need to take them every night, some times every other night and I get good sound sleep on the second night when I took nothing.
My main point is that I definitely felt and improvement from the Prozac, but needed a little more boost so she upped my Prozac and I felt another wave of mood improvement and mood stability. This was before I conviced her to give me the benzo for sleep, and when i did get the benzo, she also put me on Seroquel, which actually has already given me added benefits for my depression, like wanting to get up in the morning and feeling like you have had enough rest. I have struggled with that my entire adult life.
I am ready now to start consulting with as psychologist or psychiatrist to further distance myself from depression and learn how to not be depressed once I am ready to ween off the Prozac and Seroquel.
My larger point is, don't kill yourself. It is the most selfish act you can do. You can get better and be at peace while you are still alive. I walked through a forest the other day and felt a peace I had not felt in years. See your doctor as much as possible, even if you have to pay cash. They want to help and they understand not everyone has insurance. Above all, be 100% honest with them always. they want to make you well as a whole, not just treat symptoms.
Today I have a wife and kids who love me more and have stronger relationships with me that I imagined possible. Life is not worth ending, unless you have a painful terminal disease and I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. But there are other better options than ending your life. You can find peace you just have to continue to seek it, and seek out the wisdom and experience from the people in your life to help give you perspective and never stop trying to be better. Your life can go from misery to ecxstacy in mere weeks.
Great job oxyhooter.
I also suggest mental health services. Having an unbiased psycho therapist that is only looking to help you understood your issues is a great help. Just don't let them run over you and tell you "give seroquel a chance" cause they will put you right on that shit. Tell them you can prescribe it all you want but im not paying $300 dollars a month for this bullshit.
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If you really have your mind, set don't do it with a gun to the head. That would make it a closed casket funeral for anyone that came to see you off. I have tried to kill myself several times.
Seeing your buddies die and wondering why it was not you and killing sometimes just cause I could really messes with my mind.
I tried the classic wrist cutting but never got deep enough. Then a plastic bag over my head. Then with the gas on in a sealed kitchen. Even tried the gas on in the sealed kitchen with a plastic bag over my head. After a while I figured it was just not my time.
I still think about it often. I am on some heavy opioids so next time I am ready I will just OD on those. You just get tired go to sleep and then you are done.
Peace be with you brother and remember you are NEVER alone.
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Hey man, if you need someone to talk to you should definitely PM me, we can chat about this. Or if you're ever on reddit check out /r/suicidewatch, those guys are awesome.
If you're going to order drugs off of SR, you should order enjoyable drugs. Have you done LSD? If not, definitely order some and try it, that shit will change your worldview. And if you have done LSD before, order it anyways, maybe it'll convince you to change your mind. Since if you've resolved to killing yourself anyways, you might as well have some fun first, right?
Seriously cheeto69, you think a mentally unstable member asking for tips on suicide drugs needs to take a psychedelic that is vastly known as common sense is very sensitive to the users mental and physical states?
If he was just depressed maybe but not someone suicide, their lies mental illness and hopelessness...these are not LSD approved states of mind.
Can I get competent LSD users to raise their hand that LSD is a good idea for a suicidal person?
I don't know man, he brings up a good point. Some drugs can change your perspective of life, you cannot make an assumption just based on that. Anyway, like the OP said, he's just wants to be at peace, I strongly recommend you to think one hundred times about it, about the people you're leaving. and the fun in life you might be missing! but I don't know you and I do not know your background. If anything there are methods out there that are quick and painless. I would not want the burden on me to tell you but if you do enough of research, I'm sure you'll find a way. But please, think through it at least twenty more times!!
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I like your way of thinking Cheeto!!!!!!!
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relax
i would take a 10-20 strip of some good L buddy.....and if you still wanna kill yourself after 5 hours.....go for it
good luck
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Okay, LSD may not be the best idea. What about MDMA? Better yet, a candyflip? There's just so many drugs to try, why waste it by committing suicide? :D
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...why waste it by committing suicide? :D
Now we are on the same page. :)
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Cheeto69 has never done LSD.
If you don't understand how badly LSD can cripple a mentally unstable person..
I just don't know what to tell you.
I guess there's a reason this is called Newbie discussion.
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I have done LSD.
Just because I offer advice does not mean lumenz should go drop a 10-strip of acid without any research. Suicidal thoughts vary - some people feel very calm with their suicidal thoughts, others feel like emotional trainwrecks. It's up to lumenz to decide whether or not he feels mentally stable enough to take LSD. I threw an idea out there so he could look into it.
The more I think about it, lumenz should try MDMA rather than LSD though. I know MDMA can exacerbate depression but if he does it right with pure stuff, no redosing, supplements, it could be a very nice experience and he won't have a hangover.
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6 months ago I wanted to die. I was depressed and couldn't get out of bed to go to work on time, fucking up hard at work, high on more drugs continuously than any human should ever be. I wanted to die as well.
I have a wife and three little girls who love me and are my whole life, so for me suicide was not an option. In order to save my marriage and continue to live under the same roof as my family, I voluntarily but begrudgingly went to a doctor ( I really didn't have one before) and as i expected was promptly proscribed Prozac. After several more visits with this doc, 5 to be exact) I complained that I never am able to get enough sleep at night (4 hrs average) to get up easily on time and not want to sleep for 30 more minutes, 15 more minutes, oh shit I fell back asleep I need to be there now!
She reluctantly gave me one benzo, even though I was angling for alprazolam (the last doctor I saw had me on it for sleep every night and I came off it fine)
So I can order the benzo she prescribed me to cover the possible presence in my urine of the substance and that part of my life is awesome. I have horrible insomnia that I have tried everything to fix, and the only good sleep I ever get is from benzodiazepines. And I don't need to take them every night, some times every other night and I get good sound sleep on the second night when I took nothing.
My main point is that I definitely felt and improvement from the Prozac, but needed a little more boost so she upped my Prozac and I felt another wave of mood improvement and mood stability. This was before I conviced her to give me the benzo for sleep, and when i did get the benzo, she also put me on Seroquel, which actually has already given me added benefits for my depression, like wanting to get up in the morning and feeling like you have had enough rest. I have struggled with that my entire adult life.
I am ready now to start consulting with as psychologist or psychiatrist to further distance myself from depression and learn how to not be depressed once I am ready to ween off the Prozac and Seroquel.
My larger point is, don't kill yourself. It is the most selfish act you can do. You can get better and be at peace while you are still alive. I walked through a forest the other day and felt a peace I had not felt in years. See your doctor as much as possible, even if you have to pay cash. They want to help and they understand not everyone has insurance. Above all, be 100% honest with them always. they want to make you well as a whole, not just treat symptoms.
Today I have a wife and kids who love me more and have stronger relationships with me that I imagined possible. Life is not worth ending, unless you have a painful terminal disease and I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. But there are other better options than ending your life. You can find peace you just have to continue to seek it, and seek out the wisdom and experience from the people in your life to help give you perspective and never stop trying to be better. Your life can go from misery to ecxstacy in mere weeks.
That was beautiful, I'm glad it worked out ok for you and was able to overcome your battle with depression.
Here's the thing, I have no one. My girlfriend of 5 years I was about to marry just left me last week. My few friends either have their own family's or I've lost contact with them. None of them could give two shits.
I've suffered from depression / SA / panic disorder for most of my life. Docs on the NHS wont prescribe me anything other than Citalopram which gave me huge side effects. To be put on the list to see a counseller would take months.
I just want a way out. Away from any thoughts or gut wrenching feelings of loneliness.
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lumenz,
I am sorry for your situation. But I am sure that you could find a few friends here on SR that would be more then happy to come over and get F'ed up with you. You never know there might be a life long buddy floating here on the forum.
Just saying.
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Dude, to be totally honest, that's all stuff you can recover from. Everyone has hardships, just part of life. Learn from them and use them to become stronger and wiser. Women come and go. Just when you think you can't live on anymore, someone new will come along and make all that pain nothing but a memory.
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Hey Bro, I know exactly where you're coming from. Check your pms
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is the only wrong choice you can make with your life
i love you, man. please don't go away because we do need you. and we do care about you.
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The difference between the living and dead is that the dead can't change their situation. Every second is a chance to turn it all around. Weed, mushrooms and exercise. That's what the doctor ordered. And get laid. Fuck. Hire a hooker if you have to.
I hope you feel better. We're all connected and if you kill yourself, part of me dies, you selfish asshole.
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Lumenz, I understand where you're coming from. My childhood sweetheart, who I'd been with for years. And I was about to propose for, left me, up and out of the blue. And I was miserable, and I tried to kill myself with a mountain of oxy's, almost shot myself a couple times. Gun malfunctioned once, and I thought better of it the next time. I cried for three days straight, no sleeping, no eating, no talking or moving, I just cried for 3 days after she left me. That was about 4 months ago, and I still feel shitty. and I still sometimes slip into thoughts about how nothing is worth it. But things are getting better, and if you work for it, and want happiness it's an attainable thing. You just need to make the choice and the steps towards positivity.
As a schizophrenic who has mostly conquered his early life problems with chronic depression. And someone who uses a boatload of psychedelics. I'm not gonna say acid will help, or it won't, but if you go into it with positive thinking, it can help you see some of the ways to a better life. That being said it's completely uneccesarry. And just making any steps towards being happy, in place of wanting to be less sad. Those are the things that will help, whatever step it is, it could be anything, from taking a walk every day, to smelling a flower. Any time you make a choice to try to be happy, that's the only time you'll actually be happy. And killing yourself isn't one of those choices, that's a choice to try to be less sad, and that just continues the negative spiral.
Peace man, and I hope you come through this alright, and a person changed for the better.
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Right now you think that there is no-one but if you comitted suicide and could actually see the damage that you cause those around you. It is simply an unremovable scar. You always hear people crying and saying things like "My kid would have been graduating high school today, my kid would have been entering college today, My best friend would be able to console me in this hardship." and it always ends with "But he comitted suicide". Don't be the person which creates this everlasting despair for everyone in their life.
I'm crying as I write this because you have no idea of the damage which will occur.
Trust me i've been on the tightrope, potassium cyanide in hand ready to meet oblivion.
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Hey man, if you need someone to talk to you should definitely PM me, we can chat about this. Or if you're ever on reddit check out /r/suicidewatch, those guys are awesome.
If you're going to order drugs off of SR, you should order enjoyable drugs. Have you done LSD? If not, definitely order some and try it, that shit will change your worldview. And if you have done LSD before, order it anyways, maybe it'll convince you to change your mind. Since if you've resolved to killing yourself anyways, you might as well have some fun first, right?
Seriously cheeto69, you think a mentally unstable member asking for tips on suicide drugs needs to take a psychedelic that is vastly known as common sense is very sensitive to the users mental and physical states?
If he was just depressed maybe but not someone suicide, their lies mental illness and hopelessness...these are not LSD approved states of mind.
Can I get competent LSD users to raise their hand that LSD is a good idea for a suicidal person?
East India Traitor is 100% right. LSD use my a person in this mindset has the potential for devastation.
I find that inexperienced people normally have the misconception that because LSD has worked positively for them, that it will do the same for everyone else. This is not the case at all. Trust me, once you give LSD to a mentally unstable person, you'll be very wary of who you introduce it to after that.
Sure, LSD does have potential to change lives in tremendous ways, but it is not always positive.
LSD in known to amplify your current feelings. This may or may not be so good for OP.
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Yeah, seriously, for people with emotional issues, LSD can be one of the most terrifying things you will ever experience. It can take you to both heaven and hell. Trust me. I've seen both.
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Here's the thing, I have no one. My girlfriend of 5 years I was about to marry just left me last week. My few friends either have their own family's or I've lost contact with them. None of them could give two shits.
I've suffered from depression / SA / panic disorder for most of my life. Docs on the NHS wont prescribe me anything other than Citalopram which gave me huge side effects. To be put on the list to see a counseller would take months.
I just want a way out. Away from any thoughts or gut wrenching feelings of loneliness.
Lumenz -
It was only a week ago. It's going to HURT LIKE HELL because you had a bond. The shock of having a bond severed in this way--depending on your physiology--is one of the MOST difficult things a person can go through. And you CANNOT go through this alone. There ARE people who can help. Don't think there's anything wrong with you if you can't weather the storm you're in.
I grew up in a right-wing church, and until a few years ago, couldn't actually enter a church like that without feeling slightly ill. I looked upon religion -- and still do -- as an opiate that works for other people but not for me.
Then I found a spiritual/philosophical organization, which I'd rather not name, that's different. When I go there, I find folks who really do care about me. I've made friends and started to have a life I never thought possible. The important thing I learned was that everything follows from intention, from your word. Setting a goal, even a really simple one.
For example, when I wake up, I see a piece of paper. I've written on it:
Smile
Drink water
Drink coffee
Go on a walk
Learn one thing
Take action, in other words. But actions follow from intentions, from words. The power of your word is amazing. Look at what happened when you reached out to this community on SR to ask for the drug to end your life. Look at all the response. From your mere words.
Put notes in your house to DO BATTLE with the dark thoughts in your brain that are trying to take you down. Yes, your brain is at war with you. Notes can really help. Write them in cheerful colors. I use 3x5 cards.
I love myself.
I am powerful.
Life is beautiful.
Sometimes when I write out these cards I think it's utter rubbish. But I have to counteract the dark forces. The ones that for some reason take over at night.
You've knocked on a door here. Notice the door opening. There is goodness in this world. And sure, there's a shark here and there. That's what makes the yummies taste even better.
I've experienced depression and panic attacks at different times of my life. I agree that you do not want to self-medicate with anything as intense as LSD, and in fact self-medicating is not a good idea. Remember that depression impairs your ability to think clearly and objectively. All of your thoughts are filtered through the dark fog of pessimism and despair. With very, very good reasons -- loneliness is a killer.
But you are not alone. And I would bet there's at least one good counselor in your city who would agree to TREAT YOU FOR FREE if you but ask, and you explain to them that you are on the brink of suicide, and cannot afford to pay someone.
I would go further and suggest that, after receiving this free help from a complete stranger, you may in fact turn your life around. You may find friends, and fulfillment, purpose, and meaning. You can find ways to make money that you truly enjoy, and you can pay back that counselor whom I predict has saved your life by offering you free care.
Keep writing. Your writing shows thoughtfulness. There is value in your life. You can write anything. Write a letter to yourself as a kid. Write a dialog between yourself and your dream lover. Play an imaginary electric guitar, and belt out a number to your ex-girlfriend telling her just how painful this is. Write a song put to the melody of your favorite Beatles tune. Think differently. Visit a church if you want. See what happens if you sing with folks in a group. Go onto the "strictly platonic" area of Craig's List and see if anyone is posting an ad to meet up doing something you remember enjoying as a child. If not, consider posting an ad yourself.
Knock. Knock. Knock. No one can answer if they don't know you're at the door.
Remember your thoughts can be your enemy. Strive for new perspectives. It's imperative to talk to others. If you ask your brain the same question 10 times in a row, you'll get the same (dark) answer. Ask 10 strangers, you'll get 10 new answers.
Even those friends and family who you believe don't "give two shits" about you might give a turd or two. :-) You might be surpised what happens when you open up to people.
Nature is a great healer. Do you have access to mountains, rivers, streams? If you're considering the ultimate exit of suicide, what about something less drastic, like living in a beautiful small town, instead?
Animals are great healers. A terrier mutt, I swear, saved my life after my divorce many years ago. Miss Wigglebottoms (name changed for her protection) was my loyal companion and sweet friend, and I don't know how I could have endured the pain without her kind and playful company.
Above all, leave your house and find yourself in the company of others. We were designed to live in tribes, and modern living leaves many of us fragmented, lost, alone.
Listen to wonderful music, as often as you can.
If none of this is working, I do believe in the healing power of certain drugs like MDMA. They will at least give you a glimpse into love, even if you cannot access it without the drug. But you'll remember it later. I vividly recall an experience at the ocean in 2002 when I was completely at peace, riding a bike on the beach, and feeling completely at one with the waters breaking. It was amazing, and the recollection of it has carried me through some dark moments.
One final note. Once you have the perfect suicide pill in hand, consider this. You will probably be TOTALLY FREAKED OUT that you own it. You might think it's so easy to just put in your mouth, and swallow, and drift away like Marilyn, like Cobain, like Sylvia. But it'll haunt you. It'll plague your thoughts just as surely as these thoughts are now plaguing you. To see if this is true, put a vitamin in an envelope. Label the envelope "DEATH". Put the envelope in a safe place. Watch how it plagues your mind.
I know this because a friend in your situation did what you speak of -- he purchased a suicide pill. And it proceeded to drive him absolutely crazy until he destroyed it. It taught him that, if he had really been serious about suicide, he would not have needed a handy little pill. He would have been able to throw himself under a moving train. But the fact is, even when miserable, our instinct to LIVE is really, really hard to overcome. Owning a pill really won't change that, and in fact it will become one more thing for you to toss and turn a
I'll go further and say that this post proves to the world you're not ready to die yet kid.
Hang in there. Get support.
Know that you are not alone.
Feel free to send me a forum message privately if you want to talk more or are interested in some helpful reading.
Peace,
MedicineWoman
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benzodiazepines,oxycontin and alcohol job done........
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what i suggested in high dosages will kill you but seeing as your just looking for attention and a lil depressed most prob why bother? there alot more to life than death.
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6 months ago I wanted to die. I was depressed and couldn't get out of bed to go to work on time, fucking up hard at work, high on more drugs continuously than any human should ever be. I wanted to die as well.
I have a wife and three little girls who love me and are my whole life, so for me suicide was not an option. In order to save my marriage and continue to live under the same roof as my family, I voluntarily but begrudgingly went to a doctor ( I really didn't have one before) and as i expected was promptly proscribed Prozac. After several more visits with this doc, 5 to be exact) I complained that I never am able to get enough sleep at night (4 hrs average) to get up easily on time and not want to sleep for 30 more minutes, 15 more minutes, oh shit I fell back asleep I need to be there now!
She reluctantly gave me one benzo, even though I was angling for alprazolam (the last doctor I saw had me on it for sleep every night and I came off it fine)
So I can order the benzo she prescribed me to cover the possible presence in my urine of the substance and that part of my life is awesome. I have horrible insomnia that I have tried everything to fix, and the only good sleep I ever get is from benzodiazepines. And I don't need to take them every night, some times every other night and I get good sound sleep on the second night when I took nothing.
My main point is that I definitely felt and improvement from the Prozac, but needed a little more boost so she upped my Prozac and I felt another wave of mood improvement and mood stability. This was before I conviced her to give me the benzo for sleep, and when i did get the benzo, she also put me on Seroquel, which actually has already given me added benefits for my depression, like wanting to get up in the morning and feeling like you have had enough rest. I have struggled with that my entire adult life.
I am ready now to start consulting with as psychologist or psychiatrist to further distance myself from depression and learn how to not be depressed once I am ready to ween off the Prozac and Seroquel.
My larger point is, don't kill yourself. It is the most selfish act you can do. You can get better and be at peace while you are still alive. I walked through a forest the other day and felt a peace I had not felt in years. See your doctor as much as possible, even if you have to pay cash. They want to help and they understand not everyone has insurance. Above all, be 100% honest with them always. they want to make you well as a whole, not just treat symptoms.
Today I have a wife and kids who love me more and have stronger relationships with me that I imagined possible. Life is not worth ending, unless you have a painful terminal disease and I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for. But there are other better options than ending your life. You can find peace you just have to continue to seek it, and seek out the wisdom and experience from the people in your life to help give you perspective and never stop trying to be better. Your life can go from misery to ecxstacy in mere weeks.
That was beautiful, I'm glad it worked out ok for you and was able to overcome your battle with depression.
Here's the thing, I have no one. My girlfriend of 5 years I was about to marry just left me last week. My few friends either have their own family's or I've lost contact with them. None of them could give two shits.
I've suffered from depression / SA / panic disorder for most of my life. Docs on the NHS wont prescribe me anything other than Citalopram which gave me huge side effects. To be put on the list to see a counseller would take months.
I just want a way out. Away from any thoughts or gut wrenching feelings of loneliness.
Honestly, I've felt like killing myself lots of times but never have because I didn't want to be remembered as "that twat who couldn't hack it and topped themselves". My dad drank himself to death after two of his kids died (my siblings) and he couldn't live with the pain. He still had four other kids alive and we're all doing great today. if I could go back in time I would to tell him to hold on in there. You never know what's around the corner in this wonderful crazy adventure we call life. Without the downs how would we ever appreciate when we're feeling good? As others have said, women come and go. If you opened up to some of your friends about how you feel they'd honestly make time to talk to you rather than live with the guilt that you didn't reach out and then killed yourself. Tell your doctor how serious your depression has become or better yet change doctors. I got prozac and counselling in the UK after my dad died and I spiralled into a hopeless depression. It helped a LOT 5honestly depression is often that your brain chemistry needs a tweak and a matter of learning better coping mechanisms) and nowadays I'm pretty chipper. Suicide should never be an option IMO and if you're doing it to get back at the girlfriend who left you and guilt trip her then...... :o No comment.
You will and can feel better if you decide to. Take one day at a time, appreciate the small things- the smell of a good meal, the sunset. Get exercise, steer clear of depressants like alcohol, eat healthily. Google as many organizations as you can that might be able to help - the Samaritans springs to mind. Volunteer for a charity- helping others less fortunate than you is a very healing thing.
Start a free blog (blogger or wordpress) and write down how you're feeling in depth, often writing something down takes away its power to hurt you and is also very cathartic.
Don't kill yourself. You're not very well and can get better - remember that. If you had a broken leg, you'd take the time to rehabilitate and heal yourself but as this is in your brain and you can't see it it's harder to understand what's going on. Depression is an illness and a very serious one at that so set about seeking help rather than giving in.
AS medicinewoman says - Get a dog from a rescue shelter and focus on looking after it- you'll find caring for man's best friend a tremendous healer. I got a dog last year and start every single day with a smile.
Feel better dude.
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Sometimes you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right
<3
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i heard helium gas is a very painless way to go. also heroin overdose with it being about the best painkiller going and that it puts you instantly to sleep.
however personally i'd say fuck that, i want to experience my one chance of death in full graphic technicolor. dying painlessly in your sleep is for scared little pussies, i want my last ever moments to be hardcore as fuck.
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I would have to say probably a huge mixture of heroine and ketamine